My Why

So, this is something I’ve been thinking about quite a bit lately. Why did I want to sell clothes? To be a LuLaRoe consultant? LuLaRoe encourages you to explore this question, because if you can answer this you have intention. With intention comes action, with actions you have room to achieve the success you desire. I plan on making a video about this, but I thought writing it out would help me process it too.

Four years ago I chose myself, I chose the possibility of being happy rather than continue to play the roles of wife and mother in a marriage I was not happy in. Shortly after my 28th birthday I had a thought that shook me. And that thought was, “If I didn’t have kids with this man, I would not be in a relationship with him.” Once I said this out loud to another person it gave it more power, but I wanted to make sure this wasn’t a thought of having a hard time, or being in a rough patch, I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t foolishly walking away from a nine year relationship with whom I had three amazing and beautiful children with. There was many many things going on at this time of my life, and in my relationship that I won’t go into here, but I’ll just say that it wasn’t good, and it wasn’t healthy for me to be in, or for my kids to be around the stagnant energy that was in my home. So I left.

I became a single mom of three kids under the age of six. I had been a stay at home mom for seven years, and hadn’t worked in nearly eight. I was in school though. When my family moved to Portland, OR in 2010 I went back to school because I was looking for something for myself. I felt like I had lost myself, that I had more to offer everyone around me if I had more balance in my life. I had gone through training to be a doula, and was going to school to be a nurse, and eventually be a nurse-midwife. But then I was on my own. How could I make all of this work? I am so thankful for a supportive family who helped me financially during this time. I found an apartment, I kept going to school, I got a job, and eventually I was working three jobs. My kids adjusted well, like for realisies. I was happier, their dad was happier. Through years of working on our communication now we co-parent with ease, we each have active bonds with our children, and our kids are happy, because we’re happy.

I switched my major to Mathematics with a minor in Computer Science. I was going to school at Portland State University. I was dating a sweet loving man with twin boys of his own, my mom was planning on moving to Portland so she could be around to help–and just be around. During this time period of the years I am describing I found a love of riding my bicycle. I commuted daily to school and I was training for a century. Riding was my meditation between my two worlds, my school/work world, and my mom world. It gave me the time to have some quiet while I used my body, and I when I came home I was exhausted but I felt like I had been able to give myself just 30 minutes to transition.

June 8th, 2015 I got hit by a car, or rather I hit a car. It was a glorious sunny morning, I was riding down a road that was designated for cyclists to have the right of way–I was going 20mph and a car pulled out in front of me. I hit the back of the car and flew over and landed about ten feet on the other side of the car in the street. I blacked out sight and sound, but didn’t lose consciousness. I wasn’t wearing a helmet, and the thought, “I wonder how bad this is going to be,” crossed my mind when I was flying through the air–absolutely terrified knowing that in that moment I had no idea if I was about to die.

I didn’t! I landed, the lady stopped, the construction guys came over to help me take my backpack off, the guy stopped at the other side of the intersection called 911, and my then boyfriend-now husband heard me scream and turned around and rode back my way. All of the emergency things happened, I went to the hospital. I had soft tissue injuries, I still don’t know how I didn’t break anything. I partially dislocated my shoulder, I couldn’t put any weight on my left leg, and I messed my neck up.

Part of me sees my accident as a cosmic sign that I needed to slow down. Over this last year I quit my jobs, I tried to go back to school and it was just too much. After six months of trying to juggle being a good student, a good patient, and a good mother and partner I came to a place where I had to choose myself again. To choose my health, my body, and my happiness. It was a hard decision to decide to take a break from school. I felt like I was failing in some way not finishing a goal I set for myself. I’ve spent the last year going to a chiropractor, a massage therapist, a physical therapist, and an acupuncturist. I am so grateful for these providers. With their care, and going to yoga on a regular basis for 3 months I can walk without pain for the first time in a year. I’m not 100% but my body is taking to not being stressed out.

So where does LuLaRoe come into all of this? My best friend’s sister bought her a pair of leggings. I love leggings. Love leggings. I touched them, amazed at how soft they were and filed it somewhere back in my mind that I would like to try a pair. And then one day in April of this year I was invited to an online pop-up. I was very LuLa-Curious so my mom and I decided to go in together and order a few things. Well then I started thinking…I know how much we just spent.. how much money did this consultant just make? I started researching the company, I watched so many youtube videos, I read as many reviews as I possibly could, and tried to learn as much as I could about becoming a consultant. My husband was instantly supportive. During this whole year (we got married in March!) I felt awful that he carried the burden of supporting our family on his shoulders. I knew it was temporary, but we have five kids! I started thinking of way I could come up with the initial investment before I even got my package from the online pop-up.

Marketing myself has always been scary–but I love clothes, I love helping people, and even though I wasn’t consciously thinking of ways I could financially contribute to my family, that thought was there. So when I learned about LuLaRoe, I feel like it was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to pass up. I wanted to succeed though! I was fearful that I would just flop. So if you don’t know, LuLaRoe has teams of consultants. They do this so receive training, and support. I knew that I wanted to be part of a team that was killin’ it. Because they were all doing well, I knew they could teach me, and I was ready to learn! I contacted one of the ladies I had been watching on youtube. When I would watch the videos Joelle Day made I thought, I would hang out with this lady! And her story was relatable, she is authentic and real. Joelle took the time to FaceTime with me the same night as I sent her a message. That night I told her I was all in. She sent me up with my amazing sponsor Roberta Blevins. I survived the queue, and now I’m a LuLaRoe consultant!

This is my why. My why is for myself, so that I can help others, for my fulfillment. My why is for my husband, so that I am a happy balanced partner who is contributing to our family. My why is for my children, so they can have opportunities that I couldn’t provide for so many years.

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